Bedtime

I have a love-hate relationship with bedtime, and I'm pretty sure the Hubs would agree.  We know that at the end of the long, tedious, frustrating journey that is getting the kids to bed, we will have some much-needed downtime for a couple of hours.  But the journey... oh, the journey... that is the bedtime routine in this house.  Now, before Olivia jumped the crib at the age of 26 months, bedtime was a breeze (once she was sleep-trained at 4 months, that is).  Since then, it's slowly but surely become more difficult, especially as she has become more aware of button-pushing, stalling tactics, and manipulation of an exhausted Mommy and Daddy. This is just a teeny tiny little sample of what bedtime can look like for Olivia these days...

Anyone who has ever attempted to put this child to bed over the last year or so knows what a process it can be. Seriously, there was a time when I thought she might have OCD with the darn routine, that seems to always be evolving, and on her terms. Goodness, I remember about a year ago, maybe, she used to have to find all of these little beloved figurines of hers... Diego, Dora, Kai-Lan... and several others, and she had to throw them over the gate and Daddy had to go get them, then she had to put them all to bed... ugh. Now, you may say, in your naivete of not being Olivia's parent, "Um, you're the PARENT. Don't let her do it, and just put her to bed."  See, nothing works that way with my sweet, stubborn, strong-willed, spirited little spitfire. You've gotta get her to where you want her to be... yes, mostly on your terms, but you have to make her think it's on her terms, so it takes some compromise and creativity sometimes.  And you are just sooooooo tired... and soooooo over the day. It's usually been about 12-13 hours of me with the kiddos, refereeing wrestling matches, dealing with tantrums, wiping poopy bums, and other such fun by this time... that I am just DONE. So many nights I have thought to myself... JUST GO TO SLEEP... SERIOUSLY! Which is why I pretty much pi#%ed myself when I heard of this book.  ***WARNING*** If you are even remotely offended by foul language, do not watch this.  If you have no sense of humor about raising children, do not watch this.  And before you say that I should cherish having children to actually put to bed at night, believe me, I understand this more than many.  But, it doesn't mean that at the end of a long, sometimes very hard day when I've done my best and tried to give them everything I have, that I'm not completely spent and just ready for them to go to sleep.  So much so, in fact, that this has gone through my head (why, oh why, did I not think to write this book?!?):

I think I might buy the hardcover version, though Samuel L. Jackson reading this is PRICELESS. I also just heard about Monsters Eat Whiny Children, which may be next on my list. :)